How to Survive While Seeking Help for Your Mental Health and Wellbeing

HOW TO SURVIVE WHILST SEEKING SUPPORT.

World Mental Health day champions greater awareness about mental health difficulties, greater openness and a consistent message to talk to people when things get difficult. Over the years I have been involved poor mental health, from being a social worker, through to being a service user, I have seen a greater openness in information and celebrities talking about their star-spangled battles with poor mental health. The younger generation now championing the openness to talk about mental health and wellbeing. Whilst the older generations saying that the stars who openly talk about their struggles and social media have an attraction to be labelled with on mental health condition or another. A kind of sensationalism that draws the young and the vulnerable into a spiral of diagnostic labels, medication and poor outcomes. I feel between the younger and older generations there is a common ground where there are elements of truth on both sides.

Does openness create a self-fulfilling demand on services, there seems to be evidence that the amounts of people being medicated has increased, however the increase in demand for mental health support fluctuates over time. Looking through records there is evidence of demands spiking for two or three years and then settling down. This has led me to question why do mental health services struggle to cope with the demands for interventions? The mental health service practitioners have high rates of staff on long term sickness, teams apparently understaffed and caseloads increasing, along with demands for greater accountability. This inevitably leads to an increase in paperwork and bureaucracy. People want to understand their conditions and have a need to get a diagnosis and to not feel so alone, yet with the diagnostic labels applied this creates problems in other areas of their life. From restrictions on driving, difficulties getting life insurance, holiday insurance, mortgages and the list goes on.

For mental health services, these diagnostic labels appear to serve one main purposes, to pigeonhole people into groups. This helps them to decide who gets a service and who doesn’t. A kind of Russian roulette of access to mental health support. To me this can feel like the “worthy” and the “unworthy”. This feeling is compounded by being passed from team to team, to one organisation to another. Each time retelling your situation and your past hoping that someone will actually listen and help. But the reality can soul destroying as you are too complex for one team, and you haven’t committed a crime so another team cannot help, and you get shoved onto another team. Being told you don’t meet the criteria for a team and being shoved on to another team, triggers every negative thought you have about yourself and your connection to society as a whole.

Living with harmful thoughts and feelings is exhausting and can be very debilitating. The campaigns tell you to speak out, tell someone how you are thinking and feeling. I am a strong advocate for this but this needs to be balanced against what help you might be expecting. Some people hope that by speaking to a doctor they can have medication to effectively cure their poor mental health, others, like me, often do not know what will help them. My experience of poor mental health has led me to accept that I will always have periods of my life where intense thoughts, feelings and voices become very problematic and at those times I will need support. There is no magical cure, and getting support involves opening up and being persistent, and being prepared to work at achieving some degree of balance. This could involve accepting a different view of where your life goals and ambitions lie.

Choose a person whom you trust and open up about your thoughts, feelings and current plans, this maybe enough to help but if these symptoms persist or get worse you need to speak to a professional, to get support. They cannot help if they do not know about what is happening for you. This could involve speaking to your GP, or self-referring to the local Mental Health Team. Where possible have someone support you with this process. It is very hard to keep explaining your current situation and can feel like an overwhelming pressure as you talk to them. Try and focus on what they need to know and that your mind could be telling you a lot of untrue things about yourself.

It is very unsettling speaking to professionals about your own wellbeing and it can trigger lots of negative thoughts. I had thoughts of “they must think I am a freak, who should be locked away and shunned” and “they are not really interested in helping and I am just a number to them”. These types of thoughts are common amongst people seeking help. Going to speak to the mental health trust I did not know what to expect. I had an image of my self laying on a couch whilst a therapist sat on a chair and interrogated me. Nothing could be further from the truth. I was taken, by two people, into a room with four chairs, a desk and very little space to move. There we talked about my situation, thoughts, feelings, voices and plans. Then the professionals draw up a short plan of things that might help. Sometimes they suggest things might help at that stage but often it can feel like they have a short script of things they say will help, rather than adapting to the needs of the individual. This first step is important as the Mental Health Services will then have a record of you and your situation.

Unfortunately, if you need support, it often entails speaking to multiple people about your situation and being persistent. GP’s and Psychiatrists are quick to medicate but rarely offer anything else. For me my medication lessens the intensity of the negative thoughts and voices, but it does not stop them.

I have been knocked back by many, many Mental Health Services and each knock back can leave you thinking thoughts like, “Do they think I am making this shit up? Are they listening? And “They are not interested”. Most people who work in mental health and wellbeing do so, as they want to help people. However, bureaucracy and funding dictates what support they are able to offer. Having some one you trust with you can help lessen the impact of being passed from one professional to another and another and so on.

What I now know is that whilst you are trying to get support keep a diary of your situation, thoughts and plans, if certain things trigger difficult feelings or intrusive thoughts. Record your low periods and how this impacts you and any thing that might help. This is evidence that can be useful when services start thinking about what support can be offered. Referrals for support from mental health services can take a substantial amount of time depending on how they view the complexity of your situation and its impact on you. Mental Health Services are generally reactive rather than proactive and can be cumbersome.

Whatever your situation remember that you are worth fighting for, if you get knocked back, keep going back until you get the help you need. Get the support of someone you trust to help navigate the multitude of hurdles. Try and do things that occupy your mind, distraction techniques such as exercise, puzzles, painting. I have listed an A-Z of distraction techniques at the bottom of the article. Often when people are stressed, they describe feeling hot and tense, there is evidence to suggest that altering your body temperature by doing something like taking a cold shower will help lessen the intensity of the feelings. Practice deep breathing to help regulate the flow of oxygen around the body.

Use other forms of support, contact helplines (at the end of the blog) they are there to help. Consider self-funded support, like a private counsellor if you can afford them. Many Counselling organisations offer reduced rates for people on low income so shop around. Consider other aspects of your wellbeing, social activities your local council, or doctor, should be able to put you in contact with a social prescriber who will help you to access different activities.

This blog is just a little insight into some of the things that might help. All I can say is “you are worth fighting for, talk to someone you trust, get support, but most important of all stay safe”.

A - Z OF DISTRACTIONS

A is for Aromatherapy

B is for Baking

C is for Crafting

D is for Decluttering

E is for Exercise

F is for Fishing

G is for Gaming

H is for Hydrate

I is to Indulge yourself a little

J is for Journalling

K is for Knitting

L is for Learn something new

M is to Meditate

N is to Learn to say “No"

O is to Organise a get together

P is to Play

Q is for Quiet time

R is to Read a book

S is to Sing

T is to Talk to your friends

U is to Unplug, switch off from technology

V is to Volunteer

W is to go for a Walk

X XOXO give someone a hug

Y is to try Yoga

Z Catch your ZZZZZ’s. Get some sleep

SUPPORT ORGANISATIONS

CALM

Call: 0800 585 858 (national) Every day 17.00 – midnight

thecalmzone.net

FRANK

For Support around drug or alcohol problems

Call: 0300 123 6600 Open 24 hours every day

Text: 82111

Honest information about drugs | FRANK (talktofrank.com)

HERE 4 YOU

For Children and Young People in Lincolnshire

Call: 0800 234 6342 Open 24 hours every day

Here4You - No young person should ever feel alone

HUB OF HOPE

UK’s leading mental health support database

Mental Health Support Network provided by Chasing the Stigma | Hub of hope

LINCOLNSHIRE PARTNERSHIP NHS FOUNDATION TRUST

Adult Mental Health Trust for Lincolnshire.

Emotional Support line

CALL: 0800 001 4331 Open 24 hours every day

https://www.lpft.nhs.uk

MUSLIM WOMEN’S NETWORK

Call: 0800 999 5786 10:00 am to 4:00 pm Monday to Thursday

MUSLIM YOUTH HELPLINE

Call: 08088082008 4:00 pm – 10:00 pm daily

Home - Muslim Youth Helpline (myh.org.uk)

PAPYRUS

Prevention of young suicide

Call: 0800 068 4141 Open 24 hours every day

Text: 88247

Papyrus UK Suicide Prevention | Prevention of Young Suicide (papyrus-uk.org)

SAMARITANS

Call: 116 123 Open 24 hours every day

Samaritans | Every life lost to suicide is a tragedy | Here to listen

SHOUT

Text: 85258 Open 24 hours every day

Shout: the UK's free, confidential and 24/7 mental health text service for crisis support | Shout 85258 (giveusashout.org)

SWITCHBOARD

LGBTQIA+ Helpline and support

Call: 0800 0119 100 10:00-22:00 every day

https://switchboard.lgbt/

THE SILVER LINE

Help and Support for people aged 55+

Call: 0800 4 70 80 90 Open 24 hours every day

The Silver Line Helpline